


and to plunge both hands into life up to the elbows

by FeatheredShadow



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Canon Relationships, Drama, Episode Related, Friendship, Gen, Justice for Imane, Le Gang coming through, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 20:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatheredShadow/pseuds/FeatheredShadow
Summary: “Hold on, she has been behaving weirdly for weeks and you didn’t ask her what was going on?” Arthur says, voice sounding more incredulous than Lucas has ever heard it be before.“No.”They had come down to the park for a bit of studying outside, le gang and le crew together, minus Imane, until Basile had put his foot in his mouth - and some unsavory truths had come to light.[Post 4x08 before canon makes it fanon.]





	and to plunge both hands into life up to the elbows

**Author's Note:**

> The ending of 4x08 left me more pissed off than words can express and I just had to pour my frustration out somewhere. It was supposed to be short, it got longer than I expected, but it was cathartic and I hope we will have something similar in the show before Imane gets all the apologies she deserves.

_To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows. It's easy to say no, even if it means dying._

[Jean Anouilh, Antigone, 1942.]

**Dimanche, 16h24.**

 

It’s almost too hot to be studying outside – too hot for Lucas to be able to focus as he ought to, if he wants to get good grades on his French exam in June, but Basile had suggested they met in the park to study, and Yann and Arthur hadn’t seen any problem with that, so he had come too, not wanting to remain hold up in his room at the flat-share, and almost entirely certain he was going to get as much work done outside than inside.

He hadn’t counted on the girls being here too – Daphné, and Emma and Alexia, and Manon.

Things were still awkward with Manon, even though she had told them in clipped words what happened – that Imane had sent the email to Charles because she was jealous of Manon, because she had a crush on Sofiane. Lucas found it difficult to believe, but he hadn’t insisted, not wanting to get involved in the girls’ business – even though he had a hard time seeing Imane do something like that. Not when she had remained silent about the kiss between her brother and Eliott…

Although, considering how tense the atmosphere was between the girls, perhaps he should have insisted, to know the whole truth of the matter. Well, maybe tense isn’t the right word – brimming with negative energy, more like it, as no one wanted to talk about the elephant in the room.

The absence of Imane.

(Oh, he has heard the rumors, that the girls had made her cry in the middle of a hallway, at the end of the day on Friday, but he refuses to believe it – they aren’t that vicious, after all.)

The girls hadn’t commented on it, and when Basile had asked, Daphné had curtly said _“She is not coming”_ , with pinched lips and a nasty tone that was very different from her usual voice.

He hadn’t liked it.

“I honestly don’t know what would be the worst between _Madame Bovary_ and _Antigone_ , for the oral,” Yann mumbles, notes spread in front of him.

Lucas is sitting between him and Eliott, the two of them lying on the grass, their notes in front of them while his own remained in a neat pile that had done nothing for his grades so far.

“ _Antigone_ ’s fine,” Eliott mumbles in response, focused on his own philosophy notes – and Lucas barely glazes over them, remembering all too well the headache he had gotten trying to read them the first time he had tried.

On one hand, it doesn’t bode well for his own philosophy class next year, but on the other hand, the program has always been lighter for scientific students compared to those in Eliott’s class – a pitiful pinch of hope, but it still is worth something.

Yann snorts at that, barely moving to look at Eliott before answering – and Lucas sends a short prayer of thanks that his best friend and his boyfriend get along so well.

“Maybe for you, dude, but for the rest of us…”

“Remind me what was your grade on our last test?” Arthur asks from somewhere on their right, forcibly ignoring Basile and Daphné making out next to him, notes dropped around them.

Yann shrugs.

“I got 15 but that doesn’t mean –”

Emma whistles, dropping her highlighter on her lap, eyes fiercely fixed on Yann’s face – and Lucas remembers she dumped Alex recently, and he _wonders_ for a brief moment, before focusing on the conversation at hand.

“I don’t understand how you can worry for the French oral with that kind of grades –”

“He just aims to be the best, don’t you, Yann?”

“Oh, can it, dude.”

“Seriously, it’s not like you have anything to worry about –”

There are at least four persons talking over each other, and Lucas winces a little when he hears the loud slurping noise that accompanies Basile disentangling himself from Daphné to follow the conversation.

Eliott is still a warm presence against his leg, still obviously more interested in his philosophy notes than in his friends riling each other up. It’s all good-natured until Basile puts his foot in his mouth – as he tends to do, and sometimes Lucas wonders if he doesn’t do it on purpose.

Sometimes.

(Most of the times, he is pretty sure his friend is just, as Arthur once put it, both _here and there_ , and therefore not one hundred percent focused on _here_.)

“It’s not like Imane has to worry either, doesn’t she?”

The girls immediately stop talking at that, faces turning into a nasty grimace – and Lucas would never have thought of them as ugly, even Alexia, less-as-conventional as she might be, but the expression doesn’t suit them at all.

(He is still angry at Manon for thinking him capable to bring Charles back.)

(And okay, maybe a little still over the sleeping-on-the-couch thing.)

( _A lot_ , actually, but he tries not to dwell on it – too much to focus on and worry about already.)

 _“Dude,”_ he hears Yann and Arthur hissing at Basile, who seems baffled at the reaction he has provoked.

Yeah, not one hundred percent here again.

Eliott snorts a little before pushing his notes away, starting to roll himself a cigarette.

“What?” Basile says, not understanding what went wrong – and Daphné looks especially annoyed next to him. “What’s the problem with Imane?”

“What’s the… dude, seriously?” Emma says with incredulity, stone-faced and still with that ugly expression on her face.

“The problem, _the fucking problem_ is that she has been sulking for _weeks_ , snapping at everyone, lying to us –” Daphné starts ranting, obviously fired up on the topic.

“– we went to a dance casting together and she ruined my shot at being in a clip –” Alexia adds, voice more bitter than he has ever heard it be.

“– she is the one who sent the email to Charles to bring him back here, and all because she’s jealous that I’m dating Sofiane,” Manon explains in a clipped tone, stone-faced and teary-eyed.

The short intake of breath that comes from Eliott’s side gets Lucas’ attention and he slightly turns his head to look at his boyfriend, a bit surprised at the strange expression on his face before it morphs back into a calm mask.

Eliott’s hands are shaking slightly and there is tobacco on the grass in front of him.

“And the way she literally assaulted Ingrid, calling her a racist and insulting her –” Daphné pips up, still fired up.

Yann hums a little at that, making a face as if not surprised by the idea.

The noise is small but enough for the girls to shut up to look at him, various looks of incredulity on their faces.

“What?” Emma says in a slow voice.

“Why do you think Sarah dropped her ass?” Yann asks in return before looking at the girls one by one. “And why do you think I dumped her?”

“Because you were in love with me?” Emma answers in return, eyebrows raised.

“I wouldn’t have let myself fall in love with you if everything had been _peachy_ with Ingrid,” Yann points out, and Lucas finds himself nodding vigorously next to him.

It had been the little things, in their last year of middle school – and he remembered Yann being pissed off, sometimes, when he came back from his one-on-one time with Ingrid. Oh, he had shown all the support he could, delighted to have Yann spending more time with him than with his girlfriend (although it hadn’t reached the heights it would have, once Yann was dating Emma), but… there had been the comments.

And then there had been Sarah. He had tried not to dwell on her too much, recently, but now that Yann was talking about it, he remembered Sarah complaining about Ingrid’s off-handed comments. They hadn’t talked much about it – they hadn’t talked much about anything other than school and movies, when they weren’t making out, overall, until it had become too much for him to handle.

“Ingrid is not racist,” Daphné is saying, and Lucas focuses back to the present, noticing the lines of tension on Yann’s shoulders.

Arthur and Basile are watching the back-and-forth with huge eyes, and he moves a little closer to his best friend, Eliott turning on his left side, lounging on the grass, cigarette in one hand while the other comes to rest on his thigh, squeezing it a little.

“That’s not up to you to decide _that_ , Daphné,” Yann points out, voice calm and controlled, but Lucas can hear the annoyance underneath.

He is not the only one, given the look on Emma’s face – and she winces a little when Yann snaps, voice curt as he speaks to Daphné.

“It’s up to me, it’s up to Imane, it’s up to Sarah if you even ask her what happened between her and Ingrid, but it sure as hell isn’t up to _you_. And if you think it is, well, you need to take a look at your own behavior.”

Daphné gasps a little and looks at Basile for support, but he is too focused on Yann to notice her, eyes wide open. The girls are starting to look a little uncomfortable, too.

“Okay…” Emma mumbles, notes forgotten on her lap, tearing a little at the hems of her sweatshirt.

“And when you said Imane literally assaulted Ingrid, you meant…?” Arthur asks Daphné, curiosity growing on his face.

Yann rises from his lying position to sit up, bumping shoulder with him before their eyes meet. Lucas sticks a little closer to him, Eliott moving behind to follow suit, until all nine of them are set in a perfect circle – as perfect as it can be, anyway – boys on one side and girls on the other.

“I mean she started ranting at her, like, super aggressive, you know, about how she was racist, saying racist stuff –”

“Okay, okay, and why did she do that?” Arthur asks, frowning. “Imane isn’t the kind to be aggressive like that without… without _something_ to set her off.”

Yann starts nodding and Lucas finds himself doing the same, watching with curiosity and a growing sense of discomfort as the girls exchange meaningful looks.

“We were talking about the fight between Sofiane and Charles,” Alexia starts explaining slowly after one last look at Manon. “Saying how Sofiane had been violent, you know –”

Eliott twitches against him again before taking a puff on his cigarette, smoke blowing next to him.

“– and Ingrid starts explaining how she used to have an Arab neighbor who beat his wife –”

“Ah,” Yann says.

“Okay…” Arthur says. “Just… like that? No transition?”

“No?” Alexia answers hesitantly.

Yann snorts again, and shakes his head. His expression has grown bitter, and Lucas exchanges a look with Arthur, eyebrows raised.

Basile still looks out of his depth, but the girls are starting to seem really uncomfortable now.

“The transition is that they were both Arabs, Arthur. Right?” and this one is for the girls.

They seem to hesitate for a moment before Alexia nods a little.

“Maybe?”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Yann mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes, and Lucas frowns.

“And Imane like… went off?” Arthur asks, obviously still trying to understand what happened.

“Yeah, it was violent,” Daphné explains. “And Ingrid defended herself, said she wasn’t racist, because she dates only Black guys anyway and –”

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m gonna stop you right there –” Arthur interrupts her before being himself interrupted by Yann.

“Daphné, girl, that’s actually racist to say that kind of stuff. And to date guys only because they’re Black, or Arab, or Asian, whatever, that’s racist too.”

Silence falls over the group and Emma opens her mouth, once, twice, before Yann turns her attention on her.

“What? Spill it out, girl.”

She seems to hesitate over her words for a moment before speaking, voice soft.

“The fact that I dated you, and then Alex…” her voice trails off.

Lucas looks at her for a moment before turning his attention on Yann – expectantly, as does everyone else. There is a thoughtful expression on his face as he thinks over it, before talking again.

“You went with us because…?”

She shrugs.

“You were cute, and into me, and I was into you too?” she says with a pout, shrugging a little. “And the sex was great. With both of you.”

“Well, here is your difference,” Yann says, shrugging a little too.

“Okay,” Emma mumbles, and it’s clear from the look on her face that she doesn’t seem to get what the difference is – but neither does Daphné, even though there is something thoughtful in her eyes.

“And who else has Ingrid been dating, anyway?” Arthur asks, never losing sight of the matter at hand.

“Oh, Idriss, Imane’s brother,” Daphné quickly says, apparently relieved at the change of topic.

Eliott almost chokes on the cigarette he was smoking but no one else seems to notice, as Arthur and Basile whistle at the news, Yann rolling his eyes and shaking his head a little.

“That doesn’t make her a racist, though, right?” Emma asks, bringing the attention on her again.

Yann sighs loudly and rolls his eyes again.

“Girl, did you ever listen to what you said?” Lucas asks, trying to control his annoyance at her obliviousness.

Emma makes a face again but doesn’t say anything, looking at him and then at Yann again before looking away.

Lucas doesn’t know how she can handle the disappointment on Yann’s face, because he sure couldn’t – but maybe she can’t as well, and this is why she looks away.

“Okay, so… Imane snapped because Ingrid’s racist,” Arthur says, looking at them before turning his attention onto the girls. “Sounds logical to me. Anything else? You were saying something about sulking and snapping at you, Daphné?”

Daphné pinches her lips before nodding.

“She was _so annoying_ , for weeks, without telling us anything, just sulking, and the snapping, honestly I couldn’t stand it anymore –”

“And how did she react when you asked her what was going on?” Arthur interrupts her, growing aggravated at her tone, trying to get down to business. “Because our Lulu wouldn’t tell us either –”

“Oh god right, he was so annoying too –” Basile says, while Lucas tries to protest.

“Three weeks, dude, we spent _three weeks_ trying to get you to tell us what was wrong,” Arthur goes off, turning to look at him, gesturing at him and then at Yann.

“– avoiding us and everything –” Basile pips up, nodding vigorously.

“Yann even considered kidnapping you and holding you hostage in his room to get you to talk –”

“It was just an idea,” Yann says, more relaxed now that the conversation has changed.

“ _Three weeks_ , dude, and you kept blowing us off,” Basile goes on.

“– hey, leave him alone, he told us in the end,” Yann says once he sees the redness that’s growing on his cheeks.

Their shoulders bump amicably and Lucas lets himself fall a little against Yann, mind jumping back to those dark, bleary weeks of February and March.

“– yeah, that wasn’t for lack of asking,” Arthur says before turning back to the girls. “But that’s over now. How did Imane react when you asked her what was going on?”

The girls remain silent for a moment, looking at each other before Alexia answers.

“We didn’t.”

Lucas can’t believe his ears, and looks at the gang. Yann and him exchange a long, incredulous look, as Arthur and Basile do, before the four of them look at each other, bafflement hanging over them.

Eliott takes a drag on his cigarette next to him, the smoke warming his ear slightly.

“Hold on, she has been behaving weirdly for _weeks_ and you didn’t ask her what was going on?” Arthur says, voice sounding more incredulous than he has ever heard it be before.

“No.”

Silence hangs over them for a moment and they all look at each other, Lucas and Yann and Arthur and Basile, with the girls remaining silent and Eliott smoking his cigarette to the last puff, careful not to insert himself in the conversation.

“Okay…” Yann says in a drawl before Arthur loses it all – and Lucas hears in his voice how he is thinking about those weeks he spent ditching them until he confided into Yann.

“What the hell?! She is your friend and you didn’t even ask her what was wrong? What’s your problem?!”

“Just… _why?_ ” Yann asks in a low voice, incomprehension written all over his face, and it’s like a kick to the gut for Lucas.

He doesn’t get it either.

“Aren’t you friends?” he asks, Basile echoing on the other side of Arthur, and the four of them look at the girls.

Alexia seems to be the most uncomfortable of all, with something like guilt flashing across her face, but the others seem unmoved.

“We were waiting for her to tell us,” Alexia finally says, Emma nodding next to her.

Daphné’s lips are still pinched and Manon’s face is undecipherable, but Lucas ignores it, a nasty feeling pooling at the bottom of his stomach. He can’t help but remember how bad he had felt, a few weeks ago, how _isolated_ , even with Yann reaching out as much as he could. He had felt guilty about his inability to tell him, too, but he didn’t even want to think about what he would have done if Yann hadn’t insisted – had just waited for him to talk, pretending everything was business as usual…

Yann shakes his head, anger slowly creeping up on his face – and both Arthur and Basile notice, eyes darting between the two of them.

“You just waited,” Yann says slowly, pausing between each word. “Without asking.”

“We weren’t going to beg her to tell us,” Daphné mumbles, but there is no heat to her voice under Yann’s cold gaze.

“At point you’ve got to _ask_ , if your friend isn’t telling you from herself,” Arthur points out. “Right, Lucas?”

The girls all turn to look at him, various looks of surprise on their faces, and he winces a little before his shoulder comes to bump against Yann’s.

“How else is she going to know you care, if you don’t ask?” he says in a low voice – and there it is again, the flash of guilt on Alexia’s face.

Yann slightly turns against him and they stay close, shoulder against shoulder. Eliott’s hand is still on his thigh, briefly squeezing it before resting upon it, while Arthur and Basile look at them, nodding, before shifting towards the girls.

Daphné’s anger seems to have abated a little and Emma’s annoyance had disappeared, a thoughtful look on her face. Only Manon appears unmoved, lips pinched tight.

“It doesn’t change the fact that she is the one who sent Charles that email and brought him back,” she says in a clipped tone, but Alexia intervenes at that.

“She had been weird for _weeks_ before that, it just doesn’t cut it.”

“And they didn’t do anything about it,” Yann whispers in a huff, relaxing a little when Lucas bumps onto his calf, trying to show how _he_ had appreciated his best friend reaching out, even though he hadn’t been able to talk, back then.

Not right away.

“I mean, it’s not _just_ a jealousy thing.”

“She just never says anything about herself,” Emma mumbles but she stops talking when Alexia shoves her none too gently.

“Hey, quit defending her, she fucked up your chance at the casting, remember?” Daphné says curtly.

“That’s between her and me,” Alexia answers in the same tone. “Not your problem, Daphné.”

“Okay, but the thing with the email –”

“She did that because she is jealous,” Manon says. “Because Sofiane is dating me.”

“Sofiane’s dating you,” Eliott repeats with incredulity, and everyone turns to look at him, the girls looking almost surprised to see him there.

Manon and Emma exchange a look.

“Yes, and?”

“Why do you sound so surprised about it?”

Eliott huffs, the sound almost similar to a laugh.

Almost.

“Because Sofiane and Imane had been dancing around each other for _months_ before he went to Australia,” he explains curtly.

Lucas feels his eyebrows rise but keep his mouth shut as the girls obviously seem to have a lot to say.

He can see the baffled looks on the boys’ face to his right, Yann side-eying him as Daphné speaks, haughtily.

“And you know that because…?”

“I used to hang out with Sofiane and Idriss in my former high school,” Eliott says simply, apparently unflappable.

A memory comes to flicker in Lucas’ mind at his boyfriend’s words – and a light goes on.

“Hey, wait, hold on, that’s why she was checking that picture of Idriss and Sofiane on instagram!” he exclaims, suddenly sitting upright.

The girls look at each other, a bit baffled, until Alexia speaks up, frowning a little.

“When was that?”

“Oh, a couple of weeks ago…” he thinks about it for a moment, “right after Manon moved out to the flat next door. I don’t know, I think that was… like, two months ago?”

Manon nods slowly and Alexia looks at her in silence, until her face morphs into something else – as if she was putting together the pieces of a complicated puzzle.

“So that’s why Sofiane went to the party, the first time…”

“What?” Daphné asks, her voice a little strangled.

Alexia shakes her head a little, still looking at Manon, expression changing again.

“I hadn’t really noticed, because I was really into finding you a new boyfriend, Manon, and Sofiane was really hot, but… you remember, when we went to the MJ together for the first time? You,” she says to Daphné “and Manon stayed with Idriss, and Imane went down and I followed her. We saw Sofiane dancing and I invited him to the party, but they were actually flirting together. Like, when I invited him to come, he asked Imane if she was going and she said _maybe_ , and he said _maybe was good_. And at the party, he preferred to talk to Imane rather than coming to dance. With me.”

Daphné looks at her for a moment, seemingly not believing her, before a frown descends on her face and she turns towards Manon, pinching her lips.

“Okay…” Arthur mumbles.

“Messy,” Yann adds in a whisper.

“She told me she wasn’t into him!” Manon protests, voice going high. “I asked her, and she told me she wasn’t.”

“Didn’t you say she tried to convince you not to go with him? The evening we spent at her house?” Alexia asks, brows furrowed.

Manon bites her lip.

“Yeah, she told me that Muslim guys went for white girls to have some fun… but Sofiane isn’t Muslim, so, you know…”

Something flashes across Eliott’s face, so swift Lucas barely has the time to see it before turning his attention back onto the girls. Alexia still looks as she is trying to understand what went down, and the sour expression on Daphné hasn’t changed – hell, it even seems to have worsened.

“She really insisted for you not go with him, though,” Alexia says slowly. “And after you kissed him, she clearly wasn’t happy about it, and she was really pissed off when you started dating after Daphné’s party birthday.”

The mention of the party catches Lucas’ attention and he remembers what happened afterwards – how both Idriss’ and Eliott’s reactions had picked his curiosity, and Imane’s harshness when she had told him off, when he had asked her about it.

“She was weird before that,” Daphné points out. “Every time I talked about Basile –”

“You overshare your sexual life, Daphné,” Alexia points out, Emma nodding vigorously next to her.

“Not just that,” Daphné goes on, not caring about the interruption. “Every time we were talking about boys, when we were planning the holidays – and yes, okay, I got it, Ingrid must have been saying racist stuff,” she quickly adds when she sees Yann’s raised eyebrows. “Every time we were talking about boys, and before Manon started dating Sofiane.”

“Not right after the first party with Sofiane and Idriss, though,” Alexia points out. “She was fine after that.”

“Yeah, it was a bit after,” Emma pips up. “Like, a week or two after.”

“Yeah, when we really started to push Manon onto Sofiane.”

“And after Ingrid brought that bottle of wine to Imane’s house,” Daphné adds. “She really got pissed off about alcohol after that, remember? She yelled at her when Idriss got drunk at that party and –”

“Hey, wait, wait, hold on,” Arthur says, raising his hand. “Ingrid brought a bottle of wine to Imane’s house?”

“But she is Muslim?” Basile adds, looking more than confused. “I thought she didn’t drink alcohol?”

“She doesn’t,” Alexia answers, and Lucas winces a little.

“And you’re still surprised she is pissed off at Ingrid?” Eliott asks, a surprised look on his face.

The girls exchange looks again, but they all look uncomfortable this time, even Daphné.

“Okay, just, let’s forget about Ingrid for a moment,” Yann says in an attempt to return the conversation on its tracks. “She got weird like… two or three weeks after you moved out from the flat-share, Manon?”

“She started being really weird around that time, yeah,” Daphné quickly says. “I mean, she already was pissed off that Ingrid was hanging out with us and helping us for the holidays –”

“Forget about the holidays five minutes, Daphné,” Alexia says, brows still furrowed. “And – Arthur, what are you doing?”

Everybody turns to look at him and Lucas sees the tips of his ears reddening, but he holds their gazes without flinching, a sheet of paper with something written on it in front of him, and a pen in his hand.

“I’m trying to write down the chronology,” Arthur explains. “If I followed right, Sofiane came back from Australia like just before Manon moved out from the flat-share, and he and Imane must have been flirting together, right Eliott?” he waits for Eliott to shrug and nod before going ahead. “And you girls try to push Manon and Sofiane together after that first party you had together, and Imane got really weird about that time. Ah, and you started hanging out with Ingrid at the same moment, and she didn’t like it?”

Alexia nods.

“She didn’t like it from the beginning.”

“And she got really weird after Manon and Sofiane started dating each other,” Daphné clarifies, lips still pinched. “Not before. I mean, before, she was pissed off at Ingrid for the alcohol thing, but the weirdness jumped out after my birthday party.”

“Pretty sure that’s not just the alcohol thing that was pissing her off,” Yann mumbles, and Daphné bits her lip at his word, but she doesn’t say anything.

Everybody remains silent for a moment, then:

“Well, that explains things,” Arthur says, looking at everyone.

“And none of you noticed Imane was into Sofiane?” Lucas asks – and okay, that might make him a little bit of a hypocrite, because with hindsight, he now knows that Yann had been into Chloé long before they had started dating, but… aren’t girls supposed to be more perceptive than boys?

“Manon, you didn’t know about that, did you?” Daphné asks, and there is something to her tone that catches Lucas’ attention – and not just his own, given the look on both Alexia’s and Emma’s face.

Manon licks her lips before answering, teary-eyed again – and Lucas is suddenly reminded of how Yann had complained, once long ago, that she was always crying.

He hadn’t been wrong.

“I asked her, and she said she wasn’t into him. I already told you so,” Manon says slowly.

“Like I told you I wasn’t into Eliott, when you asked, right after you came back from London?” Lucas can’t help but ask, and he doesn’t miss the way Manon flinches at his words.

The boys look at him weirdly, and Eliott squeezed his tight again, but he ignores them.

Daphné pinches her lips again, a shadow falling over her face.

“I see,” she says curtly.

Manon flinches again and Alexia looks at the two of them before pinching her lips too. Only Emma seems not to understand where this is going to, at least until Daphné speaks again.

“Because it made it easier for you to go with him, wasn’t it? _Again_.”

Manon’s face falls as understanding dawns onto Emma’s.

“This isn’t the same thing,” Manon says weakly, and Daphné snorts at that.

“Isn’t it? You knew very well how much I was into Charles, last year, and even though you claimed you hated him, you still went and dated him. In secret, too. You lied about it to my face for weeks.”

“What?”

The sound that comes from Basile’s mouth is weak but it is enough to get everybody’s attention. He looks frankly confused and even a little heartbroken, at least until Daphné waves his question away before kissing him quickly.

“Ancient history. Don’t worry about it,” she says, and he nods a little, still confused.

Lucas’ eyes meet Yann’s and he knows they both remember his confession.

It was a good thing he hadn’t gotten into details – Yann didn’t know to know for how long he had crushed on him, and the agony that had come with realizing, _admitting_ that he was into guys.

Even if he still had tried to convince himself he was also into girls, last year.

“Daphné…”

“Just… don’t talk to me about that, Manon. It fucking sucks to do that to a friend,” Daphné says curtly, before glaring at her.

“Okay… but that doesn’t excuse the email,” Manon says weakly.

Lucas shrugs.

“You do stupid things when you’re in love,” he says simply.

Emma stares at him before raising an eyebrow, obviously jumping to Manon’s defense.

“You would know about that, don’t you?”

Dread falls down at the bottom of his stomach and he opens his mouth to interrupt her – to no avail, as she turns to Yann.

“What do you mean –”

“Remember last year, when I kissed Alex at that party? When it wasn’t going well between us? I told Lucas, and he is the one who told the whole high school about it, because he was jealous.”

“Jealous of… Yann?” Basile asks, a little incredulous, and Lucas feels blood draining from his cheeks to go up his neck, as Arthur hushes him.

So much for Yann not knowing _everything_ about his crush, then.

“ _Girl_ ,” Alexia and Daphné both hiss as everybody stares at him, and Yann and Eliott next to him.

He can’t see Eliott’s face from his position, can only feel his hand on his thigh, and Yann’s face seems to remain stuck, as he stays silent. They look at each other and Yann seems to see something on his face, before he rolls his eyes.

“What can I say, I’m irresistible,” he says before stretching, bumping onto his shoulders in a gesture that shows they’re fine. “Girls _and_ boys fighting over that fine piece,” and he gestures at his body, “and honestly, can you blame them?”

Arthur shoves him none too gently, rolling his eyes too.

“How are your ankles, Don Juan?”

They start to bicker and Eliott bites back a laugh in his ear, squeezing his thigh at the same moment. Lucas feels as if a weight has disappeared from his shoulders, and even though he knows he will have to talk about it with Yann – it’s written in his eyes after all – he doesn’t feel as worried about it as he could have, some weeks ago.

“Anyway, it’s not about Lucas right now, it’s about Imane,” Yann says once he and Arthur are done. “Here’s your explanation for the email, Manon.”

“And we all agree on the fact she shouldn’t have done it, clearly, ” Lucas adds, “but… well, she did it anyway. And maybe she wouldn’t have done it if one of you had asked her what was going on.”

Or maybe not, if he remembers all the dumb things he did when he was lost and scared shitless of his feelings for Eliott, and how everybody would react, but he can understand why Imane did it, and he won’t blame her for it. He hurt his own share of people, too, Chloé most recent of all…

What he just said might have been a low blow, looking at the grimaces on the girls’ faces. Well, Daphné still looks mightily pissed off, and he vaguely wonders what happened between her and Manon and Charles, but this isn’t his problem. Alexia seems to feel guiltier of them all, but even Emma has a strange look on her face.

“Don’t you have like… a girls’ code, to not go after the guy one of you is into?” Basile asks, curious, and Emma snorts a little at that.

“Yann’s with Chloé,” she says, and Lucas exchanges a look with Yann, glad to see his perplexity reflexed in his best friend’s eyes.

“They got together after we broke up,” he points out. “And I wasn’t even in love with her!”

“And stop trying to redirect the conversation onto Lucas,” Yann adds. “Because _we_ have a bro code, and I asked Lucas if he was cool with me trying something with Chloé, and I waited before making a move.”

Emma pinches her lips and looks away, looking a bit miffed at the rebuke. Lucas stares at her for a bit, wondering what’s her problem – does she still feel guilty about what happened between her and Yann and Ingrid? – before turning his attention back to the rest of the girls. Manon and Daphné both look spectacularly upset, but apparently not for the same reasons.

Silence floats over them for a moment, broken only by the scratching of Arthur’s pen on his sheet of paper. Clouds pass in front of the sun, and the temperature seems to grow colder, all of a sudden – or maybe that’s just his imagination.

“I was pissed off Imane didn’t tell me what was wrong, so I didn’t ask her,” Alexia suddenly blurts out, and everybody turns to look at her. “I mean, in the first weeks, I didn’t notice… I mean, I noticed she didn’t like Ingrid, but I thought it was only because of what happened last year with Emma and Daphné, and the alcohol thing, and then…” she hesitates for a moment, and Lucas feels himself nodding, mirroring Yann’s actions.

Eliott’s hand briefly leaves his thigh while he rolls himself another cigarette before coming back, still focused on the conversation. He can hear the tip of Arthur’s pen scratching on paper, while Basile seems to be cuddling Daphné, on the other side of their half of the circle.

“I was a little… hurt. And jealous when she went to have tea with Manon, a couple of weeks ago, and they posted about it on instagram,” she admits in a low voice, cheeks reddening. “So, I… I waited for her to tell me what was wrong, you know, and she didn’t, so I didn’t ask.”

 _Petty_ is the word that comes to mind, but Lucas won’t say it – he knows a thing or two about pettiness, after all.

He stares at her, as does everyone else, before Yann whistles a little, eyes huge and nodding a little.

“Girl…” Arthur says in a low voice, pen hovering over his sheet of paper.

Her cheeks are red but she meets their eyes, unflinching. Lucas can respect the show of humility, and so does Yann when he turns to look at him. He knows they’re both thinking of the same thing, but Lucas sees a major difference in their behaviors: Yann had asked him what was going on, after all.

Being left alone on that bench had sucked, but Yann had come back and apologized for more than he had expected.

“When was that tea session?” Arthur asks once he has gotten his bearing back. “What did you say to each other, Manon?”

Manon looks vaguely uncomfortable and even Emma has a strange look on her face at her reaction.

“Girl?”

“It was a month ago, roughly,” Alexia specifies, and Lucas watches as Arthur completes his chronology.

“Messy,” Eliott whispers in his ear, and Lucas shifts to look at him.

Their noses bump and Eliott kisses him quickly, a brief touch of the lips before turning back towards the girls, the same strangely focused look in his eyes.

It isn’t as strange, though, now that Lucas knows he used to hang out with Idriss and Sofiane – that explains how he knew Imane, and the whole matter must touch him perhaps even closer than it does for him.

He settles back between him and Yann, grateful for Yann’s unwavering presence. The gang seems rather discomfited to discover that side of the girls, and honestly, he feels the same.

He never expected them to be the kind to not ask questions when one of their friends was behaving weirdly.

“Manon?” Yann presses on, and she looks at them for a long time before answering.

“I had forgotten about it,” she says slowly. “She invited me to have tea next to her house, to talk a little…”

Her voice drifts off and Emma nudges her a little.

“About what?”

Manon shrugs.

“She said she felt a bit… you know, there are these girls from her neighborhood, with whom she went to school before, who call her bounty girl –,” and Yann whistles again at that, a grimace on his face.

“Bounty girl,” Daphné repeats before looking at Yann, interrogation on her face.

“Black on the outside, white on the inside, like a bounty,” he explains curtly and she grimaces too.

In fact, everyone does, Eliott tutting in his ear. Lucas nudges Yann and he pushes back gently, smiling a little at him, even though it doesn’t reach his eyes, before turning his attention back to Manon.

“– so, she said she felt a little pulled apart between those worlds, that she didn’t have a place anywhere,” Manon goes on, and Yann nods.

The girls are grimacing, and even Daphné’s anger seems to have abated a little.

“That fucking sucks,” Alexia says, and Emma nods slowly next to her, the expression on her face making it clear she feels bad about that – though, if it’s for the insult or the whole situation, Lucas doesn’t know for sure. “Why didn’t you tell us about that?”

Manon hesitates for a moment.

“She said it was fine.”

Alexia’s eyebrows rise to her forehead and Lucas can feel his own doing the same – but it’s nothing compared to the look on Yann’s face, and if he turns to his left, on Eliott’s.

“That’s… kind of important,” Emma says, and her eyes meet Yann’s, who nods a little, understanding passing between them.

There is still something on Manon’s face, in the way she is holding herself that makes Lucas a little suspicious – he likes to think he can spot a lie, or at least a half-truth, and Manon’s behavior is tingling his spider senses.

“So, if I ask Imane about that, she will say that’s all you talked about, right?” he asks slowly, and everyone turns to look at him before staring back at Manon.

She hesitates again, biting her lip before speaking.

“She said she had been feeling a little disconnected from the crew, recently,” Manon finally says in a slow voice. “And not… just because we were talking about guys or because Daphné was oversharing her sex life –”

“Hey, I’m not!”

“– but because we never… because we always go to the same places, and never to places she enjoys… that are close to her.”

She pauses for a moment, until Alexia breaks the silence, waiting for the conclusion.

“And?”

Manon hesitates again before finishing.

“And that basically she felt really alone, sometimes.”

Everybody stares at her until she almost trips on her next words.

“But she said it was fine! So, I just…”

“You didn’t tell us she felt like shit with us because she said it was fine,” Alexia repeats, sounding more outraged with each word.

“Girl…” Emma says in a low voice, staring at Manon.

Daphné shakes her head slowly, pinching her lips again, looking as pissed off as earlier in the conversation – and off she goes:

“We’re _friends_ , she told you a fucking month ago that she wasn’t feeling well with us, that she felt alone with us, and you didn’t tell us? You let her snap at us for _weeks_ without telling us what you knew?”

“I was disturbed by what was happening with Charles!” Manon protests and Alexia shakes her head again.

Yann and Arthur look at each other, the same look on their faces – eyes wide open, as if they couldn’t believe what they just heard, and Lucas feels the same.

“You couldn’t take two minutes out of your day to drop a message on message on whatsapp to tell us about it?” Alexia goes on, sounding incredulous.

“That’s fucked up,” Arthur mumbles, and Lucas sees Emma slowly nodding, incredulity clear on her face.

 “Charles hadn’t even come back yet! You had tea with her a month ago! You weren’t dating Sofiane either,” Alexia is still talking, obviously pissed off, “we were already all wondering why she had gotten so snappy all of a sudden, it was already getting on our nerves, and you didn’t think to share what she told you?”

Manon looks ready to cry but Lucas can’t find it in himself to care.

“Girl, did you let your brain at the flat-share when you moved out or what?

The words are out before he can hold them back, but he sympathizes too much with Imane right now to regret what he just said.

“I was wondering, I spent _weeks_ wondering _why_ she wouldn’t tell me what was going on, but that’s because she had already told you, and you just… didn’t do anything? Say anything?”

“Alexia…”

“Don’t… even talk to me. I can’t deal with this shit right now,” and Alexia jumps to her feet, grabbing her notes with hands that are shaking with anger, “I’m going home.”

She storms off and they all look at her walking away, blue hair bouncing on her shoulders.

“She sent that email to Charles,” Manon says weakly, looking at them with something akin to a pleading look on her face. “I was with Sofiane and she –”

“That was after,” Arthur interrupts her, pen twirling between his fingers. “You already knew how she felt about,” he handwaves at them “all of you. Or her place with you, if you prefer. Lack of place.”

That’s twisting the knife in an open wound, but Lucas feels like they deserve it – and the silence that comes from the guys makes it clear he isn’t the only one.

Manon who looks at them with a pleading expression on her face, eyes bright and teary.

“Girls…”

Daphné looks at her, lips pinched tight, and remains silent.

“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t tell them how Imane felt,” Lucas says, feeling drained. “It’s not… it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. To be kept a secret.”

He would know about these things.

“You’re friends. If your friends don’t do anything when they know you feel alone, then who will?”

Emma – who has remained silent until then – looks at him for a moment before focusing on Yann. He doesn’t know what she sees in his best friend’s eyes, but it seems to make an impression, as something shifts on her face. Determination seems to settle over her, as she had come to a decision, and she grabs her notes before pushing them into her bag and rising up.

“I’m going home,” she says simply. “I have to talk to Alex. See you at school.”

Daphné looks at her with a surprised look before nodding a little, coldness coming back to her face as her eyes go back to Manon. Yann nods too and keeps looking at Emma’s retreating back as she walks away without as much as a look towards Manon.

“I just…”

“You just don’t think it hurts people when they tell you how they feel and you ignore it because it suits you better that way?” Daphné asks, disdain all over her face.

She doesn’t seem to be over the Charles thing, whatever that might be. Have been.

Manon looks at her before turning to look at him, still with a pleading expression, but he shakes his head. That’s not his definition of friendship, and neither is it Yann’s, considering how his best friend is vibrating with anger at his side.

He suspects Ingrid’s behavior is no stranger to that.

“I can’t believe it,” Daphné finally says. “You knew how I felt about Imane snapping at me all the time, and you just… you never said anything. I can’t believe it,” she repeats before grabbing her notes too. “I’m going home.”

“Oh?” Basile says hesitantly, a little surprised and confused – and slightly hurt, too, Lucas can see it in his eyes.

Daphné sees it, too, as she hesitates for a brief moment before tending down to kiss him quickly.

“I’ll talk to you later. See you tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Basile says before kissing her. “See you at school sweetheart.”

The term of endearment seems to do the job as Daphné smiles briefly before kissing him again and leaving without as much as a last look towards Manon.

The atmosphere is still weird – less tense than before, but not relaxed either.

“Maybe you should go back to your place,” Eliott finally says to Manon once the silence has dragged on for too long.

She looks at them before nodding slowly and grabs her notes, packing everything efficiently before leaving. Lucas can see the way her shoulders shake as she walks away and maybe he feels a little bad about the whole thing – but then he thinks about Imane and how she must feel, and how he felt, too, when things were wrong with the gang, through no faults of their own.

Yann never failed him like that.

Three days of silence after being left on that bench are nothing compared to the _weeks_ of indifference Imane just went through.

The atmosphere is a lot lighter as soon as Manon is out of sight – all the girls had gone in different directions, if that isn’t something to think about – and Arthur whistles again, flicking his pen against the sheet of paper Lucas has forgotten about.

“What a _mess_ ,” he says, and they all nod vigorously.

“That’s fucked up,” Yann adds, and a chorus of agreement arises.

“Do you think they’re gonna talk to Imane tomorrow?”

“No, probably later in the week, they’re gonna need time to think about it.”

Lucas bumps against Yann’s shoulder, and feels a little lighter when Yann pushes back before smiling slightly at him.

The smile reaches his eyes, this time.

“I am going to talk to Imane tomorrow, though,” Lucas says, and the boys nod vigorously, encouraging him loudly.

“Eliott, are you going to talk to Sofiane? You said you used to hang out with him and Idriss, so…”

Something akin to hesitancy flickers across Eliott’s at Arthur’s suggestion, but he shrugs, taking one last drag on his cigarette.

“Maybe,” he says simply before putting out his cigarette.

There is _something_ here that Lucas doesn’t know about, but he isn’t going to push.

Not this time.

Imane had been right, he shouldn’t force Eliott to tell him about his past relationship with Idriss, and Sofiane too, apparently.

His feelings for Yann had remained a secret until then, after all.

The boys are still talking around him, everybody reeling from what just unfolded, and Lucas’ eyes drift back to the notes spread out in front of him, Jean Anouilh’s words staring at him:

 

_I want everything of life, I do; and I want it now! I want it total, complete: otherwise I reject it! I will not be moderate. I will not be satisfied with the bit of cake you offer me if I promise to be a good little girl. I want to be sure of everything this very day; sure that everything will be as beautiful as when I was a little girl. If not, I want to die!_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Please let me know what you thought of it~

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [a love that patches the holes in the ceiling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21826039) by [aletterinthenameofsanity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity)




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